Friends? Friends.

//No we’re not friends.

Nor have we ever been.//

We’re not friends. Ed Sheeran whispers softly. It’s not an argument. It’s not a denial. He says it calmly, with an understandable tinge of melancholia. Have you heard this song? It’s about two friends who are in love with each other. But that’s not what I’ve decided to blabber on about today. It’s this line that keeps repeating in my head, ceaselessly.

We’re not friends.

Is it really so easy to blurt out? As if we are to say the sky is blue.

Through out my life I have been thankful to have had the friends I have, which is why I find it amusing that I am unable to bring myself to write upon it without it coming out as nonsensical gibberish. Perhaps that’s the truest form of friendship, nonsensical gibberish. It involves talking in a language made entirely of inside jokes, it involves experiencing emotions we never thought we were capable of. It’s about wanting to sit in the girl’s common room in a school I always hated with people I will always love. About drinking chai and bumping into people we never knew we’d share our deepest thoughts with.

How is it that the girl you thought was the happiest you’ve met would crumble when you asked her if everything’s alright?.Amazing how two broken people find each other, when none are willing to freely admit they are broken. Is it this broken-ness that heals us? How else would you explain two people who never shared a class together, who never had similar opinions, becoming so profoundly close to each other such that when she doesn’t reply I count the days until she does.

Weirder still, is how two people who have never met, let alone share a class, can become best of friends. How is it that borders aren’t as strong as we would think they are. Seas might swallow up islands and bombs don’t make for good advertisement, but how is it that a simple message that too about cricket tends to create a bond stronger than most bonds out there.

How is it that two people can fall in love, find something close to love in the most weird places. Places that make no sense to normal people. Places like the internet?

Fascinating isn’t it? You travel to the other side of the world to experience parts of yourself in other people and find out that that maybe we aren’t completely alone. This so called diversity that everyone’s been arguing about carries unique strands of commonness, that unite people who you would have never met otherwise. Who would have thought that the girl who sat across you in Linear Algebra and had a scary first impression of you would be the friend that makes you laugh the most. How is someone so crippled by her own emotions so strong?

Speaking of laughing, you wouldn’t really think you knew humor until you met a useless retard of a human who turns the worst circumstances into a joke. You wouldn’t think that the girl you thought hated you would laugh at all your jokes and the guy you thought was a boring goody-two shoes would shake the very foundations of your beliefs.

Interesting.

We’re not friends.

I almost forgot what I was writing about, but that’s the thing with songs they maneuver themselves into you when you least want or expect.

Isn’t it scary, people,who have grown so close to each other ,might one day look at each other and say we’re not friends?

Nor have we ever been.

We’ve been products of being at the right place at the right time. We are nothing more than wasted time. We are nothing but a phase that will pass as soon as school or college or university ends. A crumbling weak scenario, that will leave nothing but a bitter after taste, or maybe nothing but apathy.

//We’re not friends.
We can be anything.//

Oh but anything is a big word and it leaves loopholes for daydreams and anxiety to fit into. It’s abstractness gives rise to doubts and sureties none of which are ill-founded but none of them are facts.

But I suppose being anything is better than being nothing or worse being a lie and a brutal blow to one’s self esteem. Being anything is hopeful, if one is optimistic. We can be anything. It’s better than us being forced and spewed out to “conserve” feelings and prevent “heartbreaks” that are just an unwanted side effect of being humans.

I suppose friendships are just one of those convoluted things I find peace in., like chaos and random angry rants. Because whatever you want this song to be about, whatever repetitive line is stuck in my head. These lines are us:

//So I could take the back road, but your eyes will lead me straight back home.//

And one of you asked me what’s home. I said I will never truly belong anywhere well enough to call it home despite my longing for something close to it. Well, this is it. Home is myself. And you lead me to it.

Thank you.

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Friends? Friends.

  1. This was so immensely beautiful and frightening at the same time. Why was it beautiful? You know how I always fall in love with your nonsensical gibberish-es. They always make so much sense to me that I am left marveling at what a restless mind can produce. Why frightening? I shall probably leave that for later

    Liked by 1 person

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